About the sexual education of children and adolescents: & Tips
"Mommy, where do babies come from?"That's the question all parents fear. But sooner or later everyone will have to answer it. Many adults believe that sex education of preschool children begins at this moment. But this is not the case - sex education begins much earlier. And it is on the shoulders of parents bear this responsibility. And from that, how well parents cope with this difficult duty, it depends on the whole future life of the child, his perception of the world. It's about sex education, we'll talk with you now.
Any person after birth passespath of psychosexual development. The child has formed his views on issues of sexuality and is determined by your personal preferences. And this is the start forming immediately after the birth of a baby. For example, a newborn baby is very dependent on the tactile contact with their parents - and especially with the mother.
Observe the behavior of your baby in thewhen you take it to the hilt, stroking, nursing. Most likely, in the face of the child will be written satisfaction, he will smile, pretty pokryahtyvat, agukat. Adults do not even know, but it is nothing but an expression of the so-called infantile sexuality. Although, of course, nothing to do infant and adult sexuality are not.
As soon as a pipsqueak growing and developing itsmotor coordination, it becomes extremely inquisitive. A total of six months - a year crumb begins to actively explore all parts of the body, including the genitals. And many parents, seeing it start to panic and believe that their child has any mental pathology.
However, it is not so! For the child, such behavior - a normal practice. It shall examine any part of his body - nose, mouth, ears, arms, legs, genitals. For him, such actions do not have a specific pathology. Some children, examining their genitals completely lose interest in them. Others, noting those pleasant feelings that arise during the study genitalia begin to purposefully try to repeat them again and again. A similar phenomenon is also quite normal and does not indicate a deviation from the norm.
Approximately two years the child knows howThey called all the parts of his body. And about a three-year kid is quite able to distinguish a boy from a girl is on gender, rather than skirts and bows. In the same period, the child fully aware of their belonging to a certain sex. It ends the process by about four years.
And that's to four years the child finallyformed a full awareness of himself as a boy or girl. In addition, during this period the child is resumed a keen interest in the genitals - both his own and others'. And it is very important that parents are able to form a correct attitude towards their sexual organs and the body in general. In no case did not focus on the fact that the child touches the genitals - this way, you run the risk of him to inspire the idea that the genitals are something shameful and forbidden.
At the age of about five years, children beginaware of the nakedness and ashamed to undress. Do not laugh and do not take a child to his shame lightly. It is time to start to treat such behavior of the child with respect. If the child needs help parents, for example, while swimming, it is better to do it the parent of the same sex child. It is with the observance of these simple rules and sex education begins in the family.
Information freedom or blockade?
Around 4 - 5 years, the child begins to realizethe fact that the adults in the world there are certain taboos of a sexual nature. Sex education of children in this period must be especially active. Be sure to talk with your child on the relevant topics. The child prefers to run around the house naked? Explain that to do so is not accepted. The kid asks where babies come from? In no case did not gloss over the subject, not jokes and not going to answer.
Try in an accessible form for the childexplain how it is conceived and the birth of the baby. Of course, many mothers and fathers become flustered, not knowing how to present this information. To help them come special literature. There are many books devoted to this issue, as the sexual education of preschool children. However, before a child read a particular book, carefully read it for yourself. As a rule, after reading such literature for several years, the child lost all questions.
But be very careful and thoroughFilter all the information that the child receives from the TV screen and books. During this period it is very important that the child did not see any explicit scenes too, and even more scenes of violence. Scarce is still so small that it will not be able to filter out relevant information. And as a result the child can get quite serious psychological trauma that will be felt throughout his life.
But the child grows up and he appearednew questions. Most often, this occurs at a time when the child goes to school, especially if the garden did not go pipsqueak. This is not surprising - the children love to share such information. And it may be different from that which is available from your child. Ignore the child's questions in any case impossible - sex education for younger students is no less important.
Of course, the talk on intimate topics - farnot an easy task. Parents have many questions and concerns. Suddenly, they will give a child too small or, conversely, too much information? Suddenly, they start talking too early or too late? What words can be used, and what - you can not? All the excitement is quite understandable and natural. To date, there is no single universal scheme, so parents need to build a conversation, considering the following factors:
- child Personality
child's personality can not be separated from thesexuality, as well as sexuality - from the individual. That is why sex education of preschool children is inextricably linked with the conventional education. Simply put, do not try to raise a child sex - just like it and lead a normal educational process.
- Sex education and sexual maturation
Many parents believe that sexualeducation must begin during puberty. But this is completely wrong - child psychologists argue that sex education should begin long before the onset of age. After all, at the tender age of the child going on the General tab to do with life. Of course, the child himself does not realize it, but all the information is deposited in his subconscious. And the brain extract it at the right moment. And who knows what kind of information?
In order for the process of sexual maturation waseffective, it is necessary to build the most trusting relationship with the child. The child must be sure that his house in any case like to understand and support always, no matter what happens. Only in this case there is a guarantee that the child will come home with their problems, not to friends.
- Work on yourself
Before raising a child,remember that you must start with yourself. Surely each of us has certain problems of a sexual nature, or certain complexes. The first thing to do - to take them under strict control. Of course, to get rid of them in this way you are unlikely, but you can reduce the risk of transmission of these problems your child. Take this very seriously - Numerous psychological studies have shown that most sexual problems are hereditary.
Make it not so difficult, because suchTalk not involve discussion of the personal life of the parents. These conversations are quite undesirable in any age of the child, even if he has long been a parent himself. The only thing that parents need to do - is to instill in the child the right attitude to the body and the process of conception. Remember that in the body there is no shame, as well as in the process of conception. All of us were born in the same way.
By the way, the parents, which is veryhard to talk on such topics frank with their children, psychologists are advised to remember yourself as a child. If this measure does not help, it will be most reasonable to ask for professional help - sexologist or psychologist.
It is not the baby!
Time flies, your child grows - and questionsThey cease to be so innocent as before. And at this stage the majority of parents are beginning to be avoided like those. And even if the child has taken the initiative itself, simply gone in the direction of the conversation. And very much in vain - it promotes the formation of an incorrect view of the children's sex, which can remain for a lifetime.
The main thing is that the parents need to instill - it is thoughtthat sex is absolutely normal part of life of any person. And so in any case should not perceive it as something shameful or taboo. Although, of course, to convey such information to the child is not easy. Children's teachers offer the following tips:
Under no circumstances should not red and does not showhis embarrassment while talking. In this case, the child is sure to celebrate this fact. And discuss all issues related to sexual education, in a relaxed manner, like all the other threads. It is not necessary to turn the conversation in such a boring lecture. Speak with your child in the street, during dinner, watching TV.
- The manner of the story
Many parents fear that their childhear about sex more than they should at his age. However, this is not so - the child's memory is very selective - it can hardly remember the information that it would be incomprehensible or boring. And remember that it is very important to highlight not only the right side of the biological process, but also emotional. This will help the child to more fully digest all the information, and parents will be able to direct his thinking in the right direction.
- Parent Activity
In that case, if the parents feel thatit is time to talk with your child on such a sensitive topic, and the time would be appropriate, should take the initiative and be the first to start a conversation. Remember, we have said that sex education is an integral part of the overall education of the child?
Therefore, all the work in sex educationsame principles - sometimes much more effective advance to prevent the emergence of certain questions than hear them at the wrong time. If your child catches you by surprise, you can easily get lost. But if you feel that a child is not ready to discuss these issues, do not insist. Just let him know that he can at any time to return to this conversation.
Child psychologists urge parents to avoid"Children's" genitals names. Learn how to say the words "arm" themselves with the same tone, "leg" and "member". Numerous studies show that children who have heard almost from the cradle correct definition experience tightness will not be of any marital bed or in a doctor's office.
Even a schoolboy!
Sexual education of younger students - thelight, as the first wave of curiosity and interest in the sexual side of human life has been left behind, and to the second is still far. Therefore, in this period, parents should only vaccinate your child the correct views on gender relations and, in particular, for boys, very important the correct perception of girls and women.
It now is the time to teachfeeding baby girl's hand on the exit of the transport pass at the door, helping to dress. Smiled? And this is precisely what is so often lacking in many men. And this stage of education is closely related to sex education.
Incidentally, the sexual education of girls in thisage a little more difficult - in fact it is now time to tell her daughter that menstruation is, why it exists, about which hygiene measures are needed at this time. Do not assume that the 7 - 8 years, this information is still premature - among modern girls often menstruation begins very early. And much worse is when it finds a child suddenly - your daughter is scared. In the West, this topic has long included in the program of sexual education of pupils. Our school is similar disciplines not yet offer so much honorable mission rests entirely on the shoulders of parents.
I - a teenager!
Sexual education of teenagers - the most difficulta task. After sexual illiteracy in this age group with a very high degree of probability can result in serious problems such as sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. And about the emotional side of the issue and we should not forget. You do not want your child to enter adulthood with certain complexes? So, talk about sex education in this age group are essential.
Almost always it is in adolescencechild encounters his first love. And the help of parents is very important in this period. As a general rule, the child is still not able to choose himself a girlfriend or boyfriend. Therefore, it simply creates in his mind the ideal image. And sometimes accidentally finds him in this or that person. And not always right. It is here that the role of parents is very important. Of course, it is not necessary to go into the child's obsessive privacy. But, nevertheless, "keep abreast" you just have to baby not done anything stupid.
The girls are usually sexually attracted toexpressed the opposite sex is much less pronounced than in boys. As a rule, the girl is looking for love, affection, care and tenderness. Most often, the girl accepts the young man as a friend rather than a sexual partner. Walking under the moon, dance, poetry - this is not an exhaustive list of dream about your daughter.
Boys, on the contrary, deliberately seeknamely to have sexual contact. And parents should make sure that he was safe. Explain to your child what contraception, gently advise the best option for him. If you can not transcend themselves and talk to the child at such a blatant topic, at least take care of that, so he got into the hands of the necessary literature.
As a rule, children are rarely looking for a girlfriend or a friendamong peers. It is not surprising, because girls mature much earlier. They begin to keep an eye on the boys down, and those in retaliation, girls are starting to hurt. And it is quite natural that the girl will look for the object of attention among kids older. During this period, parents should be especially careful - sex education for adolescents should not be allowed to drift.
Unfortunately, sex education in schools pupilsis reduced to a maximum of physiological explanations moments of sexual life. That is why parents should pay attention to is the emotional side of the issue. After all, as a teenager, as a rule, a child is faced with a term such as first love. And how sweet memories it will leave about himself, entirely depends on the parents.
Be sure to talk with your son or daughter aboutfriendship, respect, maids of honor, manhood. Teach your child the correct attitude to the opposite sex - it probably still will thank you for it. You do not want to grow up the son of a notorious womanizer and an egotist, and of his daughter - a cynical bitch or girl of easy virtue? So take the time and effort, communicate with their children - and you all must succeed! After all, sex education in the school is unlikely to do the task.</ P>