Bouts of aggression and irritability: learn to get along with them and the people
- What is aggression?
- The origins of aggressive behavior
- What affects the aggression?
- How to avoid aggression in life
Each of us is familiar with aggression in humans. We are rude, rude, we pushed and abused last words. In most cases, this treatment seems absolutely outrageous, and really want to understand how to deal with bouts of aggression and irritability in people, we seem to be no harm done? What pushes them to such disgusting behavior? It is not always easy, it is due to the lack of culture and education! Like many other phenomena of life, in their aggression have psychological causes, and ways in which we try to understand, before we talk about getting rid of it.
What is aggression?
Bouts of aggression have many synonyms: violence, hostility, anger, anger, etc. ... It is not always they have the same significance and meaning. From the perspective of psychology, aggression - is any behavior aimed at something to harm another living creature, not wishing to such treatment. It would seem that what could be the benefits of harm to others? But the nature creates nothing in vain. There are different types of aggression, and you will be interested to know that in some cases it can be very, very useful. So do not pull all the same brush. What are the goals and the causes of aggression in humans?
- Forcing others to any behavior. Man - a being very clever and cunning. Why do something yourself, if you have the power to force others to "sweat"? In modern society, the manifestation of physical aggression and coercion, of course, is not welcome, but the form of moral violence, unfortunately, still common enough.
- The desire for power. It just so happened that the authorities rarely achieved in a peaceful way - always have to walk on their heads and put someone even light, so injury. Those with a need for power is very strong, and do. Therefore, they have generally higher aggressiveness than others. Especially this sin men - it is for them dominance over other males plays a special role.
- The desire to make a certain impression. When the manifestation of any form of aggression of a man might get a different impression: Someone frightened, someone wants to face off, while someone has a need for revenge. In order to understand what kind of impression you will make his aggressiveness, you should be well aware of the communication partner. And so you can grab a sickly thrashing!
- The desire to cause harm. Agree, some people deserve so that you were aggressive with him. For example, Masha, is in the tenth grade cleverly and insidiously stole your boyfriend - she could use a portion of your anger and aggression. The desire to cause harm to another person may be based on different things - the desire to avenge something away - and may need to be autonomous. And if there are signs of aggression you occasionally - do not panic! This happens with all people.
- Psychological discharge. It happens that the day is so much bad accumulate, it would be desirable to anyone yell or beat. And you find yourself truly thankful when a hot hand comes across any harmful and boorish aunt in the subway. Oh, then you can relax and take it out on her in full force! And then feel quite easy and comfortable.
- Self-defense. Some people are very, very arrogant. Of course, to go down to their level may seem stupid or not very honest, but sometimes it is necessary, or they have simply "eat". In such cases, the anger performs the function of self-defense: when our personal space is invaded, we "show teeth and claws," and then we were left alone. The fight against aggression in this kind of senseless, because we reject its basic function.
These are the main types of aggression. They may or may not like, but it is a fact - the aggression we really need. A society in which people would not be hostile to each other, are simply unable to survive. Therefore, any attempt to find out how to get rid of aggression completely doomed to failure - it's the same thing as trying to teach people how to live without love. Individual animals do it, but it is not for everyone.
The origins of aggressive behavior
In addition to goals from anger and malice, there are moreserious and the underlying mechanisms that influence its occurrence. Psychological causes aggression in humans can be quite different: one is more or less well-known psychologist tried to put forward a hypothesis about how and where it comes from. At the moment, the following main forms and types of aggression:
- Aggression as an instinct. Many psychologists believe that the nature of the occurrence of aggressive behavior in humans is instinctive. Aggression promotes survival by performing three basic functions: the struggle for territory and food resources, the improvement of the gene pool and protection of offspring. Aggressive energy is constantly occurs in the human body accumulates in some point breaks out. Everyone - its borders, crossing which is fraught with hostile behavior. Aggression can also get all of the ancestors of man-hunters. Obviously, the nature of hunting can be a driving force to violence, war and destruction. Thus, we can speak of the inevitability of aggression and the complexity of its control.
- Aggression as a result of the impossibility of realizingtheir needs. This is a completely different approach: we are all faced with the inability to satisfy the desires of any obstacles, and in this situation there is almost always anger and aggression. They can be sent to other people, things, or even themselves. There are also variations in the methods of aggression we can shout at someone to push or start lamenting: "It's all my fault! No pardon me! ". The saddest thing is that this kind of response, if it is frequently used, starts to enter into the habit, but its effectiveness to solve problems and overcome the obstacles most notorious is highly questionable.
- Aggression as a result of learning. As children we learn from the adults around: we imitated them in a manner of speaking, eat, dress and behave in general. Similarly, watching the adults, we learned aggressive behavior: if we have seen how our mom and dad constantly shouting at each other and the people around them, such variant behavior remembers us as the only true. Of course, there are other factors that increase the probability of aggression when growing up - it's inappropriate treatment, constant carping and attacks on the part of adults and even direct instructions: "Well, you're like a little! Give the date this boy! ". A person who is growing in such an environment, it is difficult to be quiet, nice and fluffy. However, in this case, he has the ability to learn to control his aggression when develop the ability to self-regulation, to watch people who know how to resolve conflicts peacefully and promote yourself for every manifestation of humility and humanity.
What affects the aggression?
From the psychological essence of aggression weWe understood. It is inherent in every human being, and its existence is justified by the weight of the purposes and reasons. However, there are things that can aggravate aggressive behavior and make it destructive. These are features of culture and education, especially the situation and some personality traits. Hard enough to violent tendencies affect the situation in the society, in particular, cultural norms - how surrounding evaluate hostile behavior. In some cultures, aggression is encouraged, in others - condemned. Also a great impact on a person having the media. If they are constantly broadcast information about violence, threats and bombings, this will be perceived as something normal and, therefore, increase the likelihood of aggressive behavior. From the treatment of aggression in such a society of little use, because everything very quickly returns to its original state.
Family situation is also able to influencein the attacks of aggression and their frequency of appearance. For example, children who grow up in single-parent families, often exhibit different forms of hostility to others. But the family can be a large and comprehensive - in such families is determined by the aggressiveness of the relationship between brothers and sisters, if they are used to swear and fight each other, they are older they will be very hostile and impulsive. Family climate also contributes to this problem: the extent to which parents punish their children severely interfere with their lives and the conflicts between them, are inconsistent in setting the rules and discipline, etc. ... But it's not just in some LPs factors.
In some situations it is practically impossible notbe aggressive. As a rule, we in such circumstances to provoke aggression or create such uncomfortable conditions that we can not tolerate. The presence of such a situation, outside observers - the only thing that can reduce the intensity of emotions. There is also a group of people who by their appearance can cause a person's aggression, for example, a divorced woman, meets a man similar to her ex-husband, dreaming about how to do them any harm.
Sometimes we irritate some physicalcharacteristics and situations: hot, stuffy, noise, overcrowding, air pollution, etc. ... And, of course, the most important - is the personal factor. Some features of our character may increase the likelihood of aggressive responses to any, it would seem, even the most insignificant event. These include irritability, and emotional sensitivity, high anxiety, the desire to take responsibility for everything that happens over, drive and thirst for achievements.
How to avoid aggression in life
With the reasons that cause aggressive behavior,general, everything is clear. However, it becomes easier not to, because I want to not only know, but also to understand how to deal with aggression from others. If you want to influence some person, the most effective is the system of rewards and punishments. Its essence lies in the fact that good human behavior encourages you, and bad - is punished. There is some semblance of training, because anyone wants to comfort and pleasure, and their opposites, he avoids. However, there are a number of features in this system:
- A balance is needed between the promotion and punishment: if you do something to bend, the result might not be as effective.
- Between the aggressive reaction and punishment should pass the minimum amount of time.
- The punishment should be severe and noticeably unpleasant.
- The aggressor should be aware that some of his actions are punishable.
- The probability of punishment should be large enough.
And what to do if you want to learn how toto cope with aggression, belonging to you? The answer is - self-regulation. You can even use the same system of rewards and penalties - only you'll be in the role of an object, and in the role of caregiver. For example, as a punishment for you may be remorse or depriving yourself of some goods, and as a reward - attempts to please herself. It may also be effective actions to change their attitude towards the situation.
As mentioned above, most of the aggressionIt arises in a situation of apparent displeasure, and the presence of obstacles to the achievement of an important person for the purpose. You are angry at the circumstances, and there are several options for release this anger: angry at others, for themselves or try to translate that energy into a more constructive Consider the fact that aggression will not give you anything, only spoil the mood. Instead, you can try to overcome the obstacle and solve the problem - by itself will take place then your anger.
Very often the flash of aggression and anger havecause the things that we can not accept. For example, when someone from our point of view, living wrong or doing something that does not fit into our picture of the world. In order that such things do not cause you to have an attack of anger, it is necessary to work on the acceptance of others. You must accept the fact that everyone is free to live and do as he wants, including you. Every time angry and condemning someone, try to put yourself in his place - maybe it will help you better understand the man. Try not to accumulate the energy of anger and irritation.
When we constantly restrain himself, itexhausting, and we are becoming more aggressive. We must understand that so much energy can not indefinitely remain in us - sooner or later, will splash it out. Only he can be gradual and orderly, and can be all-destroying. You agree that the first option is much more preferable. If you feel that anger wave rolls on you and you will soon begin to fret and fume - pause. Try to get out of a situation or a distraction. You can close your eyes and count to ten, you can leave the room or just mentally dial in your mouth water in conversation with an annoying person. It is possible that it will save you from unnecessary displays of aggression.
There are things that you can not change and cleanof your life. Either way, you will have to coexist with them. You can be angry at them and spoil your life, and you can try to adopt and begin to treat them with a calm indifference. In addition, chronic fatigue should be avoided, because very often it is the basis of aggression and irritability. Therefore, in cases of suspected fatigue give yourself a break, for example, arrange a holiday and join in with what has long wanted to do. A person becomes angry and aggressive in a situation of chronic dissatisfaction with his life.
This dissatisfaction can be caused by differentreasons: failures on the personal front, constant fatigue or a lot of nasty people in my life. And if you want to understand how to deal with aggression, you need to make positive changes in their lives. Try to identify for themselves the positive moments - so it will be easier to enjoy them. Be attentive to yourself, try to live so that life brings you pleasure. After all, happy people are much more often calm and level-headed than dissatisfied.</ P>