First sex - it hurts! Is it so?
- With whom to lose your virginity?
- Where to do it?
- Remember contraception
- Pose for the loss of virginity
- What else do you need to know?
- Possible problems
- Visit the gynecologist!
Any girl asks: first sex - it hurts? And no wonder, because the loss of virginity - it's not cold. Yes, even more experienced stories girlfriends often suggest real horror ... However, do not rush to panic - much more reasonable to be sorted out in more detail and to know what to prepare in this matter.
Of course, sex - is a manifestation of love, and therewhere love, as we know, is not the place of reason. But sex - it's also a physiological act. So, it is necessary to provide for all the details and make every effort to ensure that your first sex has left only pleasant memories. Of course, much of this depends on the man, but a woman can greatly influence the process.
With whom to lose your virginity?
The first condition required for the success of the firstsex - it's a decent man. That man, who put to the fore the comfort and convenience of your favorite women, not your animal pleasure. After all, from the actions of man it depends whether you will be hurt during the first sexual encounter! Exposure, kindness, accuracy, smoother motion - all of which help to reduce the pain to a minimum.
So do not lose your virginity to the firsthitting a man, just because your girlfriend's friends for a long time, it did. And the casual acquaintance of the bar will not be the best option - it, by and large, absolutely do not care about your mental anguish and physical condition.
Even if you do not believe in the great andpure love, as a first sexual partner, choose a man who knows a long time, and at least trust him. So at you will experience that we expect from men. But the tension at times increases the pain.
Where to do it?
Not the last role is played and the place where youlose her virginity. The rear seat of the car or the toilet nightclub - the worst possible thing you can do. Let it sounds trivial, but to lose your virginity is in civilized conditions, without extreme - leave it for later, time to experiment you do will be enough.
A bedroom with a normal bed and access to the bathroom- This is exactly what you need. And take care to protect themselves from uninvited guests - Master bedroom, which at work, too, is not the best option. It is better to stay - share your thoughts with a man.
Last, what they think the girl on the eve of losingvirginity - it's about contraception: too many other fears. And forget about this issue in any case it is impossible, if you do not want to shortly after the first night to find out what will soon become a mother. This is at best. In the worst case will have to find a doctor-dermatologist. Keep this in mind before you have sex for the first time.
And in any case, do not expect this issue toman. Of course, it would be logical to assume that this man will take care of your safety. But too naive - a man can not think about it. But in the end, or a broken night, or extra stress. Which, as mentioned above, will entail strengthening of pain, which for the first time and so can not be avoided.
Pose for the loss of virginity
If you want to be engaged for the first timesex was not really hurt to find the best for this position. Doctors claim that a number of sexual positions greatly facilitates the process of defloration:
- Pose "Jockey"
The girl should be widely spread her legs and lie onabdomen, thigh and under desirable to put a small pillow. A man should sit on the hips of women and carefully enter the penis into the vagina. This pose is good that she completely relaxed leg muscles - and hence the muscles of the vagina - is absolutely not strained. This ensures maximum free introduction of the term. In addition, the man will be able to control every movement that reduces the risk of pain partner.
- Pose "Sideways"
Woman falls on any god and bends the legsknees. The man kneels and enters the next member in the vagina. If so, you will be uncomfortable, it is possible to upgrade a little attitude - a woman pulls sideways upper leg. The pose is very good because it has a lot of advantages - first, the partners see each other, and secondly, legs and perineum muscles are completely relaxed and member penetrates into the vagina almost unhindered. So, it is very painful to have sex for the first time will not be exact - perhaps only slightly unpleasant.
- Pose "Missionary"
If calm does not work and a womanjust bringeth forth the idea that for the first time to have sex is not just painful and unbearable pain, it is best to give preference to the good old missionary position. In physiological terms, it does not particularly remarkable - indeed, a must for the first time put a pillow under your hips to facilitate the penetration member.
But from the point of view of the psychological - better posturejust do not come up. Partners are able to maintain eye contact, at a subconscious level, she feels a sense of security, a man is free to kiss her. By the way, sexologists claim that this position is most often used for deprivation of virginity.
If a man confident in his exposure to deprivationVirginity can use doggy-style position, and its improved version - the woman should be on her knees beside the bed and lay down on her chest, legs widely breed. The man kneels behind the woman and introduces the penis in the vagina. Plus, this position is that the hymen is stretched as much as possible, and breaks very easily. But once again I will repeat - is very important self-control man, because jerky movements can hurt a woman.
What else do you need to know?
By itself, the hymen is not specialobstacle to the first sex, because it represents only the thinnest barrier, covering the entrance to the vagina. Moreover, it covers the entrance only partially. And the rupture of the hymen at first sex causes only mild pain.
So why do so many women at first sexThey complain that they hurt? Gynecologists say that having these pains due to the fact that the vagina is still very narrow. And in most cases, added another factor - too strong vaginal muscles spasms that occur due to emotional excitement women.
Many women are afraid not only that,that will be very painful, but also what will be a lot of blood. In fact, it does not - in most cases the woman gets off a few drops of blood. And in some cases the blood at first sex did not happen at all - it is also a normal variant and not a cause for concern.
However, it should be noted that sometimes the selectionblood can be observed a few days after the first sex - it is also completely normal. Of course, if a little blood - profuse bleeding serves as a signal that the body is something wrong and requires immediate treatment to the gynecologist.
Do not have sex again immediately afterfirst time - ideally you should wait a few days. Despite the fact that the rupture of the hymen is not a serious injury and even physiological process, for healing will need at least three days. So patience, patience and again patience - then it will be repaid with interest.
Very rarely, but still there are cases whenattempts to take the first turn sex problems. It should not be afraid - they are quite easy to resolve. However, aware of the potential pitfalls still worth to later sex is not causing your negative emotions - it is fraught with serious psychological problems. For the first time - it is the most important.
Vaginismus doctors call this process bywhich greatly reduces the vaginal muscles and make it impossible for the introduction of the penis. There are two types of vaginismus - the real and the psychological. True vaginismus is extremely rare - about 3% of all cases and deal with them only with the help of an experienced professional. All independent attempts are doomed to failure. Especially if we are talking about first sex.
Fortunately, in most cases can be dealt withwith the problem on their own - of course, with the active participation of men. Long foreplay, additional lubrication and, most importantly, be sure to win a problem a lot of patience. But note - the result will be only if the woman next to her loved one. By the way, very often vaginismus - a subconscious reaction of the female psyche trying to lose their virginity with the unloved man.
- Severe pain when trying to have sex
In that case, if it is very painful at the momentattempts to enter a member into the vagina for the first time, it is likely that the girl trudnorastyazhimaya and / or thick hymen. In such cases, the deprivation of virginity have sex more than once. But if after the fourth or fifth attempt will not change, will be most reasonable to address to the gynecologist. He quickly and painlessly remove the hymen under local anesthesia. And you can have sex without any ill effects.
- First sex without blood and pain
We have already mentioned that sometimes the first sexblood as pain, does not happen at all. It would seem, well, what is the problem? Rejoice, and more! But not in the case of a woman waiting for innocence and ... the evidence of this. With which for centuries it was considered the blood and pain.
And it is very important to explain to the man that theirabsence does not mean that a woman's sex is not the first time. Firstly, the hymen can be very elastic and stretch without pain and blood for a long time - sometimes up to the birth of a woman's child. Secondly, sometimes breaking the hymen takes place long before the woman decided to have sex - for example, time exercising, or use tampons.
- Pain during sexual intercourse
Sometimes there are cases when first sexIt was seemingly fine, but the second and third sexual intercourse are also accompanied by uncomfortable sensations. The pain is not strong, but pleasant enough. Why is this happening? Most likely, the reason for this is psychological discomfort, stiffness girl. As a result of the vaginal wall and spastic reduced so much that there are painful sensations. By the way, sexologists claim that these women have every chance of a bright range of sensations during sex in the future, once rid of their psychological barriers.
The reasons for such a constraint may be enoughmuch - and the psychological unpreparedness to the onset of sexual activity, and a reluctance to have sex with a particular partner or at a particular time, place or may not like. Natura women are very thin and difficult to predict, which could provoke a psychological discomfort.
Try to sort out this problemindependently analyzed the situation. It may be that during sex you would expect at any moment to return parents or joining friends? Go to the hotel. Shy of the figure? Dim the lights, buy nice clothes. Afraid of his inexperience? Talk to the man, tell him about your concerns - certainly he very quickly scatter them. If you cope with the problem will not be possible, it is necessary to seek help from a psychologist. It is not necessary to hesitate - your well-being depends on your peace of mind.
- Lack of orgasm
Often, a woman expects from the first nightfaery sensations and ready to see "the sky with diamonds" - why and agrees to have sex. But in reality everything is different - no orgasm is not in sight. And it can be a tragedy for both men and for women.
However, do not worry about it -to achieve orgasm at first sex is possible only little lucky. In most cases, in order that your body has learned to have fun, you need to have sex very long time - a few months, and in some cases, years. This does not mean that you or your man something wrong! Learn to enjoy the process and orgasm will not take long.
Visit the gynecologist!
Another very important thing - beforesexuality should visit a gynecologist! Of course, this doctor terrifies even for adult women, not to mention virgins. But it must be done for the following reasons:
- Health status
Unfortunately, in our time, gynecologicaldiseases occur even in young girls and teenagers are not sexually active. And believe me - if you try to lose virginity on the background of an inflammatory process, you will remember this night forever. And not pleasant sensations, and very, very severe pain. It would therefore be wiser to first ensure that you are healthy and receive treatment if necessary.
- Status of the hymen
An experienced doctor with a simple inspection can detect that the hymen is too thick and defloration problems may arise. The doctor likely will advise you the best posture and how to defloration.
- contraceptive methods
Incidentally, it is a gynecologistneed to discuss contraception - the doctor will assess all the details: your age, health, and others - and then select the best option for you.
Ideally the doctor should warn you also aboutthat the onset of sexual activity in most cases, dramatically changes the menstrual cycle. Firstly, the first after sex menstruation begins around week delay, so that too much should not worry. Although, of course, a pregnancy test do not interfere, even if you were protected properly. As the saying goes, better safe than sorry.
By the way, and after the first sexual intercoursea visit to the gynecologist is not superfluous. Of course, this does not mean that just getting out of bed, you have to run the clinic. But one day - two try to find time to go to the doctor. Of course, only if you do not feel any discomfort - heavy bleeding or pain.
If you notice these symptoms, go todoctor as soon as possible - it is necessary to exclude the possibility of injury during intercourse. Fortunately, this happens very, very rarely - as a rule, in the event that the first sexual intercourse was forced. Do not put off a visit and if in a fit of passion, you need to forget about prevention - the doctor will help rectify the situation.
Secondly, the menstrual cycle becomes approximately20% shorter and much more stable than before the onset of sexual activity - is the point almost all women. The duration of menstruation is also reduced, and themselves become less plentiful monthly. And the pain, if they were, at times becoming weaker or even disappear altogether.
In conclusion, I would like to once again reassuregirls who only have to learn all the intricacies of adult life, including sex - it's not as scary as they say girlfriend. Remember the three main components of success - health, time and place and, of course, your partner. If you approach the matter sensibly, you still have only pleasant memories.</ P>